The other night I called up my mom. I lamented to her about my maid. How my maid makes me feel inhibited in my own home. Like how I can't walk around in my underwear or go into the kitchen and eat those last six chocolate chip cookies, because she'll see me. I asked my sister Danielle if I looked skinnier lately, because I can't eat all the food I want to when someone else is standing in my kitchen washing dishes.
But then maybe she feels inhibited, too. Because I walked into the kitchen the other day just as she was about to give M some chocolate, but when she saw me, she quickly retracted her hand and said, "No, no puedes tener este. Primero tu necesitas comer la cena." (No, you can't have this. First you need to eat dinner.) Just imagine what M did then. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't quiet, I'll tell you that.
Then it was my maid's birthday this past Saturday. August 29th. She told Bruce that her birthday was coming up, and Bruce told me. Then one day she asked me in passing, "Senora Noelle, cual dia es el veinte y nueve?" (What day is the 29th?). Was she serious? Of course she knew what day the 29th was. It was her birthday. She just wanted to create an opening where she would be able to tell me it was her birthday without telling me directly. Are you following me? Latinos are not subtle. Because then when I announced that I did, in fact, know that this was the day of her birth, she then asked if she could make a cake with the kids. I said sure. Then she said she didn't know how to make a cake, so would I be able to do it.
Would. I. be. able. to. do. it.
Well, in the wee hours of the morning on the day of her birthday, I did get up and attempt to make her cupcakes at 7400-feet elevation. But because we are at 7400-feet elevation, they did not turn out. And I was not in the mood. So for Elisa's birthday, she received a blue purse that I made Bruce go buy, a sheet of paper I tore out of a small notebook on which I wrote "Feliz cumpleanos" and a series of bristling vibes from her employer (yours truly).
And when I shared all this with my mom, she told me to work on being kinder. Elisa cleans our toilets and wipes up poo. All she wanted was a nice birthday.
Moms have an irritating knack for reminding you why you are an ungrateful brat.
Duke’s Birth Story
9 years ago
17 comments:
He he he. I hear you. And am right there with you.
Love LOVE LOVE it. As you well know, I completely understand your feelings. I don't think anyone could unless they had a maid. According to this post, I am even more ungrateful than you chica. I straight up fired mine. : )
So I've had an absolutely horrible day so far, and you cheered me right up. Thanks for being such a diligent poster, Noe. You always give me a reprieve from the norm.
I needed to be reminded, too.
great. if that makes you an ungrateful brat, what does that make me? i'm doomed.
I laughed out loud when I read about how she asked you to make the cake. Hilarious!
lol. that cracks me up. oh your mom is so funny. it's nice having someone to call you out on things isn't it?!? (well not at the time) happy birthday to your maid :)
I'm so glad you're an ungrateful brat like me. No matter how old we get (or kids we have) our mothers can put us in our place in a matter of moments.
I too am a little impatient when it comes to unsubtle subtlty. Spit it out or move along. Like when Shannon sees me eating oreos and says, "What are you eating mom?" just hoping all say, "Would you like one." When she gets no such comment, she adds, "Oh those look yummy." and on and on.
Too catch comments up on your pervious posts...
M's hair seems more like Where the Wild Things Are, then Goodnight Gorilla (a fav in our house too). When Shannon's hair looks like that AND she starts spinning circles, we know we need to get her into bed STAT.
Um, the bus is scary enough, but to have LUKE say it goes fast makes me want to run the other direction. Seat belts? Didn't think so.
Love the break dancing in the foyer. Hints of a stage with the lighting and flooring.
Hah-ha! You sound like me. I was just catching up on my complaining over at my blog!
The boys are so cute and remind me of my two crazy boys. The minute Cam gets home from school Bode tackles him. Cam is in all day kindergarten and has already had some bumps along the road. He is a sensitive soul.
I just love your blog and I'm so glad you guys are doing so well out there! Way to go with the espanol!
first of all, you live at 7400 feet? I had no idea, obviously my knowledge of international topography is lacking. You need to go to florida and run a marathon asap, you'd kick butt!
I have so many moments where in the moment I know I'm being impatient and I'll regret it, but I just...can't...help it! I got a good laugh out of how she worked her way up to telling you to make her a cake! Anyways, I think you're being too hard on yourself, but (I'll cover myself in case your mom reads this :) ) she's right too, can never hurt to try and be kinder!
i'll just put it out there, since nobody else in your pool of comments will say it, you WERE being a bit of an ungrateful brat : }
HOWEVER, i will go ahead and put out an important disclaimer for you that you forgot to include in your post, just in case anyone reads this comment after the fact...
DISCLAIMER: NOELLE HAS NEVER BEEN A BIRTHDAY-Y PERSON!! She just doesn't do the birthday thing.
There. Now it's not such a maid vs. employer thing, or even a latina vs. gringa thing, and definitely not a flatout cold-hearted-snake kinda thing. You simply don't "do" birthdays. In general, and more specifically, not like other people do.
For example, Kauti. I mean, wow, did you see that birthday cake for Caleb?? ?!@#@$*% Wow. That's all I gotta say.
And even me--though I couldn't bake a cake like Kauti's if I WANTed to {which I do, actually}--I love birthdays more than you and would've relished at the opportunity to bake another sweet something and to light a candle and think of wishes. And it has nothing to do with being "kind," I just love birthdays, whether it's my maid's {who doesn't exist, unless we're talking about Andy} or my own daughter's.
Ask Melanie Pitcher--she knows I have the craziest memory for people's birthdays {Melanie: December 3rd, Tina Harston: December 16th or 17th--I think the 16th, Dana Tatanish: September 18th, Christi Tatanish: September 28th, and so on}.
Even people who aren't in my life anymore! For example {in case these people ever find this post and this comment}:
Ken Nakajima from 2nd grade: January 17th.
Emily Reynolds from elementary school: August 17th.
Molly Guerin: August 12th.
Emmanuel from driver's ed: July 5th.
etc etc...
What a waste of space in my brain... Seriously. All that dormant info floating around, crowding my abilities.
ANYways.... My point is, Noey, that though I know EXACTLY the tone and the attitude and the crusty facial expression with which you executed this sad "celebration" of a birthday, just know that I understand where you're coming from and I don't hold your brattiness against you.
This was an isolated event; you are actually an amazing woman with fabulous compassionate abilities and tendencies : )
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish your cupcakes had turned out!!
wow, that was a LONG post. my bad.
it's funny you know, but i have acutally thought on a couple occasions about you and your maid as i roam around my house in the early mornings, with just underwear on, a gross mouth, outta control hair...all while screaming at my kids to hurry hear and there. it must be so...ummm...weird. not the word i wanted but the only one that will come. anyway, having said that...you ARE a brat. if i knew the maid was gonna wash the cupcake tin that i made the cupcakes in, and all the other junk that gets dirty...i'd be baking cupcakes all day long!!!
ps. i, like your sister, can so see the crusty face your making and hear the high pitch voice at which you wanted to scream. love it noe, love it. and you.
Nah, not an ungrateful brat at all. I think others need to understand you pay this woman quite a bit by Mexican standards to clean cupcake tins, toilets and wipe up poo. You figure on average, live-in maids make less than $10 a day IF THEY ARE LUCKY (and that's working for a wealthy Mexican family). Working for Americans is a gold mine for them not only for the pay but we don't hit them if they mess up, something our previous maid constantly brought up. I've watched a woman in the building next door hit her maid, she's constantly yelling at her too, trust me, you are a very compasionate boss. Americans are largely fair and kind employers here.
Now imagine this: Bruce goes to work and hints to his boss that it's his birthday. He asks his boss if he could take the coworkers out to lunch, tells his boss he'd like to A: do it during work hours B: Wants the boss to pay for it OR C: Wants the boss to make and bring him a cake to work.
All ridiculous right? Of course, it would be different if Bruce's boss did it all without asking! A gift for her birthday is very kind and generous. I have NEVER recieved a birthday gift from a boss nor has Kris. If it eases your mind, the embassy even tells us to avoid purchasing gifts for maids or drivers and to forgo them for an end of the year bonus instead (a "Navidad" that is customary here). Like I said, you were being more kind and generous than you give yourself credit!!!!!
I'm with Amanda, we canned our maid as well (I don't know Amanda's reasons though). I set strict but fair boundaries as an employer regarding my relationship with our maid but she still tried to take advantage and cross those boundaries. You may have created a monster with this.
Full disclosure, I'm not a birthday person either (except for my kids) and extremely territorial when it comes to my home and not into having to get showered and dressed before I leave my room. I also had issues with my role as a homemaker (how can I be a homemaker if someone else is doing the work?) which is the main reason why I no longer have a maid.
That all being said, I can't echo Audrey's sentiments enough that "you are actually an amazing woman with fabulous compassionate abilities and tendencies" don't even think yourself to be an ungrateful brat.
Noelle,
I feel your pain. I will write more in email form, but the whole live-in maid thing is a definately a once in a lifetime experience, for better or for worse. My Mom told me the other day to try to really enjoy it. I just kind of chuckled, and she asked, "well what does she do?" And I kind of told my Mom the routine. And she laughed again, and said, "so you have someone living there who kind of slowly cleans your house?"
Overall, I appreciate the help, but there are times when the ackwardness or demands of another person can be way too much. Next time buy some cupcakes at the grocery store and leave it at that. I am determined to get them to work at this altitude. You have a year to perfect the recipe ;)
my mexican maid washed our dirty underwear out by HAND (still sort of weirds me out), and i am still suspicious that she stole some of my missing clothes. but i think i feel sort of justified blaming her because we let her take every last scrap of food we had in the cupboards when we left. sad thing is she probably needed our sloppy seconds and perhaps the one shirt that i can't find. does that make you feel better about yourself? cos it should. i'm a total snot. you're lovely.
I totally understand your feelings of not being able to do your own thing when others are around. Lucky for me, I don't have someone here all the time. I barely survive the times of having family come visit. I can't even imagine having someone around all the time.
I can't believe the cake story!! You are one patient girl!!
It might just be me Noelle, but I think you are really blessed to have a maid - I was the maid when the kids were young and continue to be the maid now. I'm also the painter in our family.
I painted the 2 upstairs bedrooms for Phil for an anniversary gift, so he did't have to spend his weekend home painting. When he came home he said to me, "you got a new light fixture and a new pillow" which I had, however, the forest green room is now light tan with light tan and beige stripes on one wall and the navy blue room 2 light shades of blue. When i showed him the color difference he laughed and said he wondered why it was so light upstairs. He thought I opened the blinds. Pretty funny ---
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