life and death and life after death

I gave a lady in our ward a ride to church today. When we were driving home, she relayed to me in passing how their youngest child (at 16 or 17 months old) had passed away. She had drowned in a swimming pool in their backyard. As she shared the story, the boys were quietly listening in the back. When she got out of the car, B asked me why her baby had to die. But I was saved from answering when L matter-of-factly and horrifyingly began some sort of story about how he had had a baby once that drank too much water. So B's attention was dramatically turned to the subject of whether or not L had actually had a baby before in a previous life.

I was cringing that they had heard this, because then I knew a flood of questions would soon follow from B. So after dinner tonight, he wanted to sit with me, arraigning me with his queries...

"Mom, what would you do if I died?"

...I would be devastated, B...

"Mom, what would Dad do if you died?"

...he would be devastated, B...

"Mom, can a daddy have a baby if there is no mommy?"

...no, daddies need mommies to have babies...

"Mom, why do daddies need mommies to have babies?"

...because only mommies can carry the babies...

"Mom, does it hurt you when they take babies out of you?"

...yes, but there's this thing called anesthesia...

"Mom, what would I do if you died?"

...you will be fine, because you will know that you will be with me again someday...

"Mom, how will I know that?"

...you will need to pray and ask Heavenly Father to help you know...

It is hard when your children force you to look inward. Your faith is tantamount to the foundation of theirs. But I know families can be together forever. My children will know this about their mother.