For the love. I have a whole other month left. [Mentally screaming my head off.]
But let's talk about how apathetic I am about life right now. I should be washing baby clothes and setting up the crib, but the indifference is numbing. Plus, with the advent of school, I've been inundated with birthday parties, homework, piano lessons, mom breakfasts and parent-teacher conferences. All I want to do is sleep! And eat mango frozen yogurt with lots of toppings.
I had a dream last night that Bruce and I died and no one was available to take our children. Not our parents, not our siblings. No one. So they were going to a Mexican orphanage. Worst. dream. EVER. I was so grateful when I woke up, that I reached over and grabbed a chunk of Bruce's hair and just held on. He was still sleeping, so I don't think he registered the desperation in my fingers.
Speaking of Bruce, he is still at the office and it's past midnight. He's been traveling to Brazil a lot lately, but this week he was able to finally stay home. Or at least not get on an airplane. I like knowing he is within close proximity in case of emergency or bad dreams.
I started taking Spanish lessons again. My teacher is 71-years-old and crazy. She laughs at the most inane things and giggles like a 12-year-old girl. She's tiny with a closely cropped head of auburn hair and wears thick, black glasses and long-sleeve, button-down shirts that are usually colors like fuschia and lime green. She always has something in her teeth, and it requires superhuman effort to avert my eyes, especially as she is always smiling. Hugely. She also thinks I'm hilarious, which just makes it worse. So for a while, I tried to say less and less, but it hasn't worked out for me. Again, it's a Spanish class and conversation is mandatory. Now I remember why I had stopped.
She's nice, though.
This morning, Bruce and I drove to the gym together. Have you ridden with Bruce? It's frightening. He was made to drive in Mexico. I white-knuckle grip the door handle every time, and sometimes feign sleep just so I don't have to look at the road while he drives. So this morning he almost ran over a pedestrian, but then had second thoughts and waved the middle-aged lady across the street. Then he looked over at me with a smile and said, "That was my good deed for the day." Sometimes I don't know why I married him either.
But Bruce, if you're checking my blog in between report edits, come home now. I miss you.
8 comments:
i wonder if pregnancy makes you have nightmares. i don't remember them from my other ones but this time has been horrible. that would have been a bad one. Mexican orphanage, yikes.
anyway, only one month left. that's exciting Noe! i know what you mean though, i've been "indifferent" this time too. it's not because i don't love having a newborn in my home or love the spirit of a new baby. I think we just know what's coming. it's hard to think about the independence you have now with your other kids being thrown to a sudden hault in a world where boobs and diapers reign supreme again. oh well. it's inevitable though, and this is your last. put that crib up girl!!!
oh i'm dying.
i can hear bruce perfectly in my head saying just that.
i can see the big grin:
almost acknowledging a whoops.
but not quite.
moreso embracing a mischievous 12-year-old boy.
as for the dreams, i just woke up exhausted after being trapped under the miles of ice surrounding a random tennis court in the middle of alaska, where andy and his team, dressed in purple sweat suits, were playing in a tournament.
nobody could hear me screaming for help.
seriously, exhausting.
and a waste of my sleeping energy.
your title though. change it!
i'm especially not changing my title since you said that, aud.
noelle. the word chafe just chafes me : )
ah pregnancy thighs. beautiful things, aren't they...
and yes, shauna, pregnancy gives you the weirdest, craziest dreams. congratulations though : ) !!! when are you due? i'm due around march 3rd. i find out in 2wks the gender.
"she's nice though"... like that makes up for calling her inane. lol. you are so funny Noelle. but your description totally reminds me of the evil lady from Emperor's New Groove w/ spinach in her teeth. "What the...? How long has that been there?"
I was kind of wondering why I'm not dying to have a newborn in the house again. Every time I see a new one (we're in UT, so that's a lot), I always feel relieved when I can hand the newborn back to her parents & continue on my way. But your friend said it perfectly. I'm just not looking forward to the reign of "boobs and diapers." Sweet baby breath & cuddles, yes. But lack of sleep... definitely not.
have some of that bomb taro frozen yogurt for me, i wish they had it here
girl, you are hilarious! a great writer too. not kidding!!! i want your skills.
hang in there!
they're mine! I get them ok?? :) better make the will soon ;)
That's hilarious about bruce and the driving. a very good deed of the day indeed!
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