Me and my brothers.
So I just have to tell this dumb yet exemplifying story involving Bruce and my brothers, Jason and Nate, over the Christmas holiday. They were all supposed to go see
I Am Legend. They were running late for the 2pm showing, so Bruce dropped my brothers off at the movie theatre to buy tickets while he parked the car.
Bruce parks and runs into the theatre. My brothers are nowhere to be seen. He looks everywhere. He walks outside to the front of the building. Not there. Fifteen minutes have passed, and Bruce is thinking to himself, "Sheesh! Where ARE those guys? Did they go in without me?" So he goes and buys a ticket for himself and walks in to the movie. It's all dark in there 'cause the movie's already started but he's trying to look around for them. It must have been a pathetic sight, because then some old lady with her grandkids is motioning Bruce over and mouthing the words, "Do you need two seats? Here you go." I like how she added the "two seat" thing in there. She must have felt bad for him. Anyway, Bruce proceeds to watch the movie by himself.
Two hours later, he walks out of the movie theatre. Still can't find my brothers. And by the way, my mom is at the mall next door shopping by herself. They were going to pick her up after the movie, but she's not answering her cell either. No one was answering their cell phone, and Bruce freaks out when no one answers their cell phone. Not like, "Oh, I wonder if they're okay." More like, "FREAKIN' PICK UP THE PHONE" type freaking out. So finally, FINALLY. My mom picks up her cell phone, gets the lowdown from Bruce about my missing brothers, and walks over to Barnes and Noble in the mall and finds them hanging out there. Moms know stuff that brothers-in-law don't.
Apparently, my brothers had tried to buy tickets but the ticket guy had told them the movie was all sold out ("freakin' dumb ticket guy", according to Nate), so they had walked over to the SIDE of the movie theatre to wait for Bruce. (Meanwhile, Bruce is waiting out front). They waited there until 3pm. A whole hour. How sad is that? AND it was cold and windy outside. They SAY that they thought that maybe Bruce had gotten in an accident or something. But check this out. Did they try to call anyone? No, no. They just waited. And when they had waited long enough, they walked over to the mall and went to hang out in Barnes and Noble. Apparently, perhaps, to wait until someone thought to look for them there.
I know. It doesn't make sense. Don't try to make sense of it. This story just exemplifies the absentminded state in which my family exists. People are always wandering off by themselves in this family, getting lost, not communicating, disappearing for hours or even a year or two. For real.
A few of my favorite Jason-isms:
1. In reflection on
www.freerice.com: "They should make it so that for every word you get wrong, they take away 30 grains of rice from the hungry people."
2. When asked if he wanted to help do something that involved getting off the couch: "I really wish I could, but I don't want to."
3. While playing speed scrabble, Nate had tried to use the word "raydons". Jason's response: "What the--you don't say 'oxygens', do you? 'I need more
oxygens?'" Good point.
I love my brother. He gives the best back rubs, can fix anything, knows an incredible amount of geeky stuff about stuff, and is one of the most thoughtful people I have ever known. When he cares about you, that is. But if you're, say, a starving citizen of Ethiopia... not so much.
